I am posting this note as a lesson learned on two key points. First, it is vital that we maintain our connectedness. When it came to a time when I needed that connectedness, I did not feel like I had built relationships that I could call on. Having accepted nomination as a Deacon for the 2007 – 2010 term I will need to ensure that those I serve have such a level of comfort that they feel safe in calling me.

The second lesson is that I was again reminded of the two-tier health care system we have in the United States. Those with insurance can get access while those without are less likely to get the care they need.

Having told this tale a few times I decided it was best to write down some of what I have been up to lately. I was sick last week and I am still somewhat under the weather today. All of which is leading to some changes in my life.

Let’s start with a question. Do auditors give you heartburn? I work a lot with auditors that want to inspect our computer systems and test the way my customers process data. So much so that my boss recommended I take the test to be a Certified Information Systems Auditor (CISA). I signed up for a class and a week ago Saturday I ate one of the free sandwiches (mistake number one). I began to feel heartburn. Now I have been under a lot of stress lately so this was a fairly common feeling and I ignored it. I finished up the class that day and went for a run that night – but I just could not stay with the pace I had planned.

Sunday I was distressed, but made it to church, studied, went for a bicycle ride and felt lousy. Later that night my stomach and intestines became seriously inflamed. Food poisoning tends to last twenty-four hours. I reasoned – which was mistake number two – that this would pass in a few more hours.

Monday morning I was in serious trouble and knew I needed medical attention. But for several weeks I have been arguing with my contract agency – Administaff – about my insurance. My HR representative informed me that Administaff is far to big a company to annoy over things like whether or not I have insurance coverage. This had angered me – mistake number three. Now I fixated on this. I needed a doctor and I did not have an insurance card. I needed my insurance identity number now. I should have called someone and gone to the hospital first thing Monday morning. Instead – mistake four – I kept getting weaker, thinking less clearly and I foolishly focused on my insurance identity.

I knew that I had to keep my fluid and electrolyte levels in balance. I have a lot of experience at miscalculating those levels during long bicycle rides and paying the price. I have overheated, over-hydrated, dehydrated and otherwise fouled things up multiple times when I have been dozens of miles from anyplace. (Arizona has a lot of no-place with only a few some-places scattered here and there.) I have learned from those experiences – because otherwise I would not have lived long enough to be the serious predicament I was now in. But as I tried to get to the kitchen or bathroom I kept blacking out. I would wake up in the strangest positions and wonder how I got there and why various parts of my body were either bleeding or throbbing. Ah, I reasoned, all will be well once my get-out-of-sick card arrives from the insurance company.

Bizarrely I kept an email dialog with people at work using my cell phone. Never did it dawn on me that I could just as easily send an email and ask for help as to respond to emails asking for status on projects. All I needed to do was keep myself together until my magic insurance card arrived.

Tuesday I was in a lot of pain as this bacteria was eating my intestines.

Wednesday I had one of those rare moments when I was awake, alert and felt like I could take a chance on driving. I got to the emergency room and got antibiotics. The hospital gladly billed my credit card. Then onto the pharmacy. After realizing they were in for a fight they could not win the pharmacy agreed to sell me antibiotics even though I was not worthy enough to hold an insurance card.

I had lost nine pounds by this point, but within a couple hours the pain in my stomach had abated enough that I could sleep. I slept nearly all day Thursday. On Friday morning the pain became intense as if a layer of skin was being pealed off my intestines. Friday afternoon I ate soup. At last, nutrition was in vogue.

I am now on a leave of absence to regroup.

My life has been intense for many years. Saturday I went through a pile of books, magazines and mail on my bookshelf. At the bottom was a replica newspaper from Tombstone Arizona dated February 1999. That was the last time I took a long weekend to do something fun. My life has been one crises after another for six years. Saturday I finally finished reading that newspaper and filed it away as a reminder.

Sunday I hung a valance in my apartment living room. I have wanted to do that for over four years.

Monday I found the bike trail connections to get from my apartment to the ocean. I have been searching for the elusive southwest passageway for over three years. All it took was a few minutes of reading the signs. It was especially helpful when I paid attention to the sign that said “slow down”.

And finally the pain in my lower intestine stopped. Suddenly food is a joy and not an obligation. So for dinner I created a masterpiece. 3 inch circle of beans, topped with a smaller circle of pureed spinach. Add a layer of cheese carefully placed so the beans and spinach are clearly visible. Microwave on high for 1:30 to soften the cheese. Top with a small scoop of rice. It looks beautiful, it tastes great and it has all sorts of nutrition.

While I am not eating as much as I used to, I crave everything. I went to the grocery store to buy a jar of peanut butter and spent $56. Lots of stuff just fell into my basket.

On Tuesday I finally completed a quest I have had since 1995. I used to work just off Imperial Highway and the 91 freeway. There is a beautiful recreational trail that runs along the Santa Ana river behind that office. I have had it in mind since 1995 to either walk, run or bicycle that trail to the ocean. Today I finally did it. Fifty miles round trip from my apartment and more than half that mileage is on trails. It is so much more peaceful not dodging cars. Today I was able to focus on the ride, the scenery, being outdoors and on the experience. That trail was all the more beautiful because I waited for the time when I truly valued the experience.

I will need to make up the time I lost in studying for the CISA test. The test date does not move even if I dropped out of class. But I am going to take time to also get caught up on some of the other highlights that I have postponed for too long. I will keep on doing the same work because that is a vital part of my life. But I am going to work equally hard at balancing my time and my life. To do that I will need to work a lot smarter and say “no” a lot more often. It is nice to have a new outlook on life.