On 8 April 2008 I was asked to volunteer for a worthwhile cause. It sounded appealing and I said I was interested, but I asked for time to consider the opportunity.

That night I prayed about it and I perceived an image of Jesus being flogged. The image was borrowed from Mel Gibson's "The Crucifixion of Christ". But the image did not seem to fit the camera angles that I remembered seeing. As I looked around the room I perceived a massive angel standing in front and to the left of Jesus. I realized that this angel could have reached over and touched the person with the whip and that person would have instantly realized the glory of the Christ. I realized that this angel could simply have breathed on the room full of Romans and all would have died immediately. I realized that the angel could have allowed himself to be made visible and he would immediately have turned the entire Roman legion into obedient slaves. None of that happened. Instead the flogging continued.

I then realized that every angel throughout the universe had watched as Jesus hung on the cross. There was a purpose and reason to those actions that far exceeds my understanding.

When I returned to my normal view of reality I wondered what these images had to do with my question. It came to me that all of my actions must be judged in relation to that moment in time. Thus, it is not a question about whether or not I have time to spend on one more worthy cause it is a question about whether or not this specific worthy cause aligns with God's plan. I need to realize just how limited my time is and I need to focus more intently on the work that I feel called to do. Thus, I need to say no to this worthy cause.

The next day it all seemed so improbable. But every day I need to reassess the direction for my life. If I want to live solely in the "real" world then that vision is a delusion. If, however, there is a God then how can I deny the possibility that there are angels. And if there are angels then how can I deny the image that was expressed in that vision. I need to choose. I can either deny this vision and thus reject the possibility that there is more than I can scientifically measure. Or I can live as if this alternate reality is true and believe that my scientific reality is too limited.

Thus there are two ways to interpret this information. I can consider this to be a response to my prayer. Or I can consider this to simply be a dream sequence and interpret that material along the lines of the dream interpretations made famous by Sigmund Freud. I felt it was important to explore both paths, starting with the Freudian approach.

I already realized that the flogging scene came directly from a movie I had seen a few years ago. The next piece of information is the angel. As I visualized that scene I came to recognize that this angelic image is borrowed from a ceramic angel that my mother gave me a couple years back. The ceramic angel she gave me is a giant when placed next to the tiny angel I retained from an otherwise lost collection of Christmas tree ornaments. Thus the dream images are a composite of images already in my mind. But it was my mind that combined those images and, according to Freudian theory, it did so for a reason.

The response I had to this vision was to say no to something I wanted to do and instead continue to focus on something that is hard work. As a Christian, there is no other image that so expresses the concept of obedience as does the crucifixion. Thus, my mind selected this image to remind me to be obedient. But why the flogging scene instead of the crucifixion scene? As I thought through the movie sequence I remembered that Jesus was flogged until they expected him to be obedient. He resisted and rose from the floor. By doing that he said no. The Romans then flogged him even more severely and yet they did not change him.

Thus I have an image of obedience, an image of a giant angel and the concept of "no" combined into one picture. Another aspect of this scene is the concept of suffering. This too is harmonious with my inner feelings. I feel like the work of writing is painful. I feel like writing exposes me to the barbs and insults of those around me. I feel that those around me do not understand. And yet I feel that there is purpose to this.

And that is where the giant angel fits. I feel that there is a purpose larger than my life and that this purpose commands me to continue. Thus, it is easy to explain this vision scientifically. Yet doing so does not change the results.

I knew that I must turn down the volunteer opportunity and redouble my efforts to explain my faith. I choose to live my life as if that vision is real. I am going to live my life as if my senses are deceptive in that they hide from me glimpses of reality that do not fit this limited world. I leave it to you to choose. If there is a God, then how can we deny that our prayers are often answered in unexpected ways?

I then sent a brief email response saying: "Thank you. I have spent considerable time thinking and praying about this and I must say no. I have too many other activities that are pressing and need my attention right now. I need to focus more carefully on finishing the work I already have underway."

The response I received is fascinating: "I am sorry to hear this although if the message no one must listen to your higher power. Thanks for the prompt response." Truly this is a Freudian treasure trove. "I am sorry to hear this…" - I accept the statement that it is inconvenient that I did not volunteer for this work. "…although if the message…" - somehow this is linking the response to my mention of prayer. "…no one must listen to your higher power." I think the intent was to politely say something like "… one must always listen…" But this twist in words expresses another sentiment that I often find in the "real" world. Perhaps this thought could be expressed as "Thank you for not inflicting your crazy ideas about religion on those of us who are trying to live our lives in peace."

I pondered this and felt that the path I needed to follow was to tell others what I had seen. I expect that people will say that I am mistaken in my religious interpretation. I expect people to say that religion is nonsense and go on to say that my psychological interpretation is wrong. And thus, as I wrote this account, I hesitated in posting in it to my web site. As I pondered that choice I received an email from a friend saying "When God leads you to a cliff - trust Him." And thus my direction was set. I will spend a little more time putting this account together and then I will post it to the world. From there you must choose. As for me, I choose to live in the "real" world while striving to see what is beyond. While nothing I ever do can compare to what Christ did, even so I must choose. Every day I must choose which path I will follow. Today I choose to accept both interpretations of this vision and live as if both are real.

Robert Perrine

10 April 2008